Memoirs of an Insignificant Dragon

by Marjory Doughty

Civilian families were in Vietnam before the military arrived and when Vietnam fell. Much has been written about the "blood and guts" role of the military, but little about other Americans who were there during the war era.

That American women were a part of the scene comes as a surprise to most people. They had to fight their own battles behind the lines while ordered to ignore the tragedy of war and "bombs bursting in air." It was difficult enough living in Vietnam as a cohesive family. But after evacuation from that country, lengthy separations from husbands who stayed behind to work sometimes resulted in strained relationships and/or divorces. But these women stood tall during the good and bad times.

Women's Issues, Memoirs, Vietnam War

ISBN 1-59431-238-8 Biography / Memoirs

Introduction

The Dragon is the all-powerful symbol of Southeast Asia.

From the earliest recorded history around the world there is mention of dragons in various shapes all to be feared and honored.

In China, although the dragon is not easy to define, it symbolizes the ultimate in strength. It is considered a beneficent being, but at the same time, should never be crossed. If you unwittingly offend it, dragons cause droughts by gathering up all the water. If that’s not enough to get your attention, they can also eclipse the sun.

The dragon represents ying and yang because it is part preserver and part destroyer.

During the Manchu Dynasty (1655-1912) the dragon was held in great esteem and everything used by the emperor reflected this. There were dragon beds, a dragon throne, a dragon boat, etc. Today the Chinese fly dragon kites during the New Year to keep the dragon happy, and that tradition has continued in spite of the influx of opposing religions coming into the country.

Because of this ability to control the fate of those in the Orient, the dragon represents guardianship and naturally it is thought to be male. The female dragon, which obviously must exist in order to produce more male dragons, is of little significance.

When I went into Vietnam in 1962 with my husband, Harvey, and young son, Jack, I fell into the insignificant category. Males with the US Agency for International Development, the agency for which Harvey worked, and the American Embassy, held the important jobs. They made the decisions while the women took care of the home front. Wives were strictly dependents. In the early 1960s, even the husband’s social security number had to be put on a check before it could be cashed.

So, dependent wives learned how to survive under demanding conditions. They had to fight their own battles behind the lines while ordered by the State Department to ignore the tragedy of war. Proper calling cards and attendance at official teas and coffees were mandatory.

In spite of these stifling restrictions, I and other women often found ourselves in circumstances that had never been part of our orientation in Washington prior to departure. For example, no Washington official ever told Jack and me how to properly react while we spent four hours caught in the midst of the coup d’etat that overthrew the Vietnamese Government.

A sense of humor is what sustained us during those war years. We learned to bend with the wind and laugh, where others might have cried. At the same time we were living sponges, soaking up the cultures of Vietnam and later Thailand where we lived after evacuation from Vietnam in 1965.

This book offers an insight into the lives of civilians, particularly dependent American wives, for twelve years of the war. These women were the cement that held the families together. And, as they coped, often under stressful conditions, they attained a singular significance of who and what they were.